This week the local swimming pool is opening again. Sad memories. This all started so well.
Before a year I started to swim five times per week. After years(!) of search for something that can help my broken mind I found it. It was good. Swimming was my life.
Then, something wonderful happened. I met a little girl there. She changed my hole life. She just impressed me with her happiness.
Like myself, she visited the pool very often. So we became kind of friends. Also her brother.
Every time we meet at the pool we had a lot of fun, gambling around and stuff. The children always smiled when they saw me and I smiled, too.
They opened my eyes. I ever asked myself what's the sense of life. This children give me the answer: children.

I always knew all this is not made for eternity. It will end. And it does. But it was too hard.
Some day I meet the girl again. She just said she is not allowed to talk to me anymore and was kind of scared.
I talked to her parents. Everything was fine, it was a nice conversation.
But nevertheless the girl do not wanted to talk to me after that. I couldn't understand that. So I lost a very special friend.
I talked to the parents again, trying to find out what's wrong. They said their daughter is very self-willed because she's ill. She got cancer. Their mother said she had resigned that her daughter will die someday. A eleven years old girl. She have done so much for me and she don't know. I couldn't even thank her.

Now I'm scared to visit the pool again. What if I meet the girl?
I really tried to get over it. It doesn't work. Almost one year I have to think about it. Every day(!, That's not a phrase, ever day!)
In the last years I lost all my best friends. And now this very special friend, too.

Why does this broke my hole life?
Why do I have to be so sad?



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